Coming Home
by MLEetc
Summary: I have been used, I have been cheated, I have been abused. I have been ground into nothing. But despite all this, I have also been loved, rescued, forgiven. My life was over, but now it can start again. My name is Alex Russo, and this is my new life.
1. Drift

**A/N: I realized there weren't too many fics about this particular topic on FF, and ended up making it into an exercise on present tense. I'm totally not used to it but let me know how I did! For accompanying music, listen to Drift by Emily Osment. I used it for inspiration. If you haven't seen her new movie Cyberbully, it's amazing! Definitely worth a watch. And yes, part of what Alex wrote in her diary are actual lyrics from the song. Don't own the song, don't own the show. Enjoy!**

OOOOOOOO

Alex hunches her shoulders against the biting rain, shielding her eyes from the water falling like bullets. Her hair whips against her exposed neck, reminding her of fists beating on flesh. The night is dark, and she wishes the distance between herself and the sub station would close more quickly.

And when she does reach the doors, opening them with a rush of warmth and a tinkling welcome, she finds relief. This place has been, and always will be her home. Though she hasn't lived here in quite some time, this is her home.

There are no customers this late at night, but she is greeted by a smiling face nonetheless. "Alex..." Theresa Russo bustles over to her daughter, arms open wide and eyes pricked with unshed tears. "Glad to have you back." Theresa is soon followed by Jerry and Max, their smiles sad and small and hopeful. Alex's father takes her bag and sets it aside so he can envelop her in a bear hug. Then Max takes his turn, moving with the awkward gangliness of one who has grown too much in too short a time. She has missed this.

Justin has been at WizTech for two years, and Alex doesn't look for him, knowing he is not here, and will get home soon. But there is a face missing from the reunion. Alex's eyes probe the shop expectantly, wordlessly questioning her family.

"Oh, Harper's upstairs, she'll be down soon," Jerry answers with a wave of his hand. Harper has been living at the Russo household, working part-time at the sub station to earn her way through college. Her parents' bad break with the stock market has left her with nothing.

Alex smiles in response and sits down to wait, letting everyone return to their work. Two or three minutes pass, and thunderous footsteps echo as a young brunette woman wearing a yellow dress that reeks of false happiness practically falls down the stairs. Eyes alight, she flings herself at her friend, squealing nonsense words and showering Alex with welcome. Alex imagines a mother, finally reunited with her child after a prolonged and worrisome separation.

Waving away Harper's worried questioning, she hints with her eyes that now everything is all right, she is finally home. Soon the night wears on, the shop's activity slows to lights flickering off, locks clicking into place, and chairs scraping against tabletop. Feet tramp upstairs, wordlessly, to bed.

Alex, reunited with her own room after so many days and nights and weeks away, feels tears of relief threaten to fall. But she does not let them. That is something she has taught herself long ago never to do.

Sleep begins to muddle her thoughts, but Alex must do something first. Pulling out a simple leather-bound notebook out of her coat pocket, she sits down at her desk and turns on a single dim desk lamp. The book is a timeline, a record, a series of entries that have kept Alex sane for so long by letting her pour out her heart to it. It has been her only friend. Though its contents document the worst year out of her eighteen, it has helped her to know that at least her life is real, and not something created by the darkest reaches of her mind. And now she must add to it.

_January 4- Mason killed in action. Happy New Year to me._

_January 7- The funeral today. How will I ever move on, Mason?_

_March 21- I met a really nice guy named Aron. Harper even said he's super cute, and I think he likes me. He's helping me to get through this. I don't know, maybe you want me to move on._

_April 19- Aron asked me out. We're official! I hope you like him, Mason._

_May 4- It's been four months since that day. Aron's really been helping me. I wish you could have met him, you probably could have been friends._

_May 9- I'm moving in with him as soon as school gets out. Mom and Dad disagree, but I'm eighteen now and there's nothing they can do about it. We love each other. I decided to give up on the wizard competition, wizards and humans can't be together. Small price to pay, I should think._

_May 12- School's out! Feels so good to be on my own, making my own decisions now._

_May 20- I found some empty bottles of alcohol in our apartment. When I confronted Aron, he said that he's just having a little fun and to just forget about it._

_May 29- Made love to Aron for the first time. I don't know, I always thought it was supposed to be sweet and romantic, but Aron's... rough. I'm probably just inexperienced though. Mason, I still miss you._

_June 4- Aron came home late again. Is everything okay?_

_June 11- I caught Aron with another girl. Who does he think he is? Mason, you would never do anything like that to me. He still says he only loves me but I'm not sure._

_June 26- I decided to talk to Aron but we got into a fight and he hit me. He's never done that before. What do I do now, Mason? He obviously needs help._

_July 1- I find myself avoiding my family, they can't find out about this. I'll probably get through to Aron one of these days, he could never survive on his own without me._

_July 14- Aron beat me today, he said I was sleeping around and probably got started with "that British kid." But we never did anything like that, Mason! I'm scared. I miss you._

_July 30- I saw Mom at the supermarket and she saw my bruises. I told her I fell but I don't think she believes me._

_August 11- I'm so afraid. I can't leave because Aron will find me and hurt me worse if I try. I have to stay, even if he hits me. I have to help him somehow! He's really confused. I mean, he must be._

_August 13- I started secretly texting Justin again. It feels good to be connected. We're supposed to leave for college next week, but Aron says he's not going. I guess that means I'm not either._

_September 6- Justin is so confused. He says I'm throwing away my future for that bastard, but he has no idea what's going on. I wish this would stop. I wish this would all stop. I desperately wish that somebody would find this diary._

_September 21- Aron's getting more violent. I think my finger is broken, but I can't go to a doctor. I can't leave. I haven't seen my family in a long time. Do they know? Would they even care after what I did to them? Would anybody care? Who can I tell? Aron says I'm a useless whore, and it's no wonder that nobody wants me. He's with me out of pity, I'm sure. I guess I owe him after taking me in and all that. I don't know why you ever loved me, Mason._

_September 24- Aron came home drunk, screaming for me. I finally texted Justin my address, told him to come get me. It was so scary. I hid in a closet but Aron found me and hit me, and yelled at me. He came so close to raping me. So close. Justin finally got there and I guess he heard my screaming because he kicked in the door and found me. Aron got away. I was so stupid for thinking anyone could put a stop to this. I know he'll just find me again._

_September 26- Checked out of hospital with broken finger and countless contusions, but that's it. Aron was smart not to do any lasting damage. Saw my family for the first time today. Baby steps, Alex. Baby steps._

_September 27- Aron's body found dead. Confirmed suicide. I know I should feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, Mason, but I just feel empty. My life was over as soon as I met him. You have absolutely no idea. Wish you were here._

_September 30- I've been thinking. Aron was right. I'm not worth anything. My family is acting like I never left them, I never forgot them, I never screwed up. I don't deserve anything they're doing for me. I should just kill myself and get it over with. Then they wouldn't have to deal with me. If somebody finds this, I'll probably be dead. I'm sorry. Sorry for existing._

Alex grabs a pen, deliberately not looking at the last entries, even though she knows what they say. She begins to write.

_September 31- My suicide attempt. So glad Justin came in time and took the pills away from me. I couldn't get the cap off, of all things! Thank goodness._

_October 4- My check into the rehabilitation center._

_December 23- Check out of rehab. Finally home._

Alex finalizes her journey with a nod. She is so lucky to have gotten out the way she did, she tells herself. She has no lasting injuries. Only her pride. Only her self-esteem. Only her relationships. Only her mind. He had never gone farther than raised fists and forced kisses in the night. He had never used a weapon on her. He had not raped her. She had not been raped. She had not been raped. She had not been raped.

Alex thinks of the girls at the center who had fared worse. How can she justify her current feelings? Why does she feel as if something has been stolen from her and forced upon her at the same time? Why has she found herself unable to speak since the incident, as she likes to call it?

Grabbing the previously discarded pen, Alex writes.

_I have been used. I have been cheated. I have been abused. I have been ground into nothing. I am just another number. Stack me up, I'll crumble and drift along. I am just another nothing. Light me up, I'll fold in and then be gone. I am well-suited for erasing, fading into hazy. I'm sinking strong._

_But despite all I've been through, I have also been loved. I have been taken in by the family I left. I have been rescued, forgiven, taken care of. My life was over, but now it can start again. My name is Alex Russo, and this is my new life._

Alex shuts the book with finality, standing to hide it in a back, forgotten corner of her closet, simultaneously burying its secrets into the depths of her mind.

Alex flicks off the light and crawls into bed, anxiously awaiting the new day and the arrival of her brother.


	2. In Dreams

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read the first chapter! This is my first WoWP fanfic, so it means a lot to me. Here's the second chapter. Please review!**

OOOOOOO

Alex walks down Waverly Place, unconcerned with the fact that for once no one is out. No one is on the street. In New York City. After dark. Somehow the irony passes Alex by and she thinks nothing of it.

But after a moment, or an hour, or a lifetime, she finds herself running. A slow panicky grip begins to overtake her and she bolts through the city. Sprinting this way and that, she feels as if she is fleeing from an unseen predator but knows her capture is inevitable. And what will happen to her after that is something she doesn't want to think about.

It is coming closer, its hot breath is on her neck and she feels its talons, or claws, or teeth, and suddenly she trips, and with a scream, hits the ground. And it is all she can do to turn and face her attacker in terror.

But quite suddenly, there is a blast of light, and the monster is gone. The light disappears, and Alex glances up, teary-eyed, to see a boy in front of her. A boy that is almost a man, but appears in a shroud of youthful innocence.

"Mason?" Alex whimpers.

"Get back up, Alex," she can barely hear his words.

She stands shakily. "I've missed you."

"And I you." He smiles sweetly.

"How will I live without you? I can never love anyone again."

"There are other kinds of love, darling. Your family, Harper, they love you. And they need you, Alex."

"But no one wants someone as damaged as me. I'm broken." Alex doesn't care that she sounds like a child, she knows Mason will understand.

"They wouldn't have forgiven you so wholly unless they really did care about you, love. Just trust me. There is so much people see in you. Go back to them, and leave the past in the past. Get back up, Alex."

And he vanishes as suddenly as he came. Alex wakes with a start and stares at the sun on her bedroom wall, wondering if she would ever hear from Mason again, yet knowing his job is done. They can all move on.

OOOOOOO

Alex sits carefully on the island counter, munching on a breakfast burrito. She is wearing a cozy green sweater and Santa hat. It's Christmas Eve and Alex is determined to be happy. Or at least cheerful.

She sees Max waltz in, carrying a clumsily-wrapped gift with "To Alex" scrawled on the side. He smiles sheepishly, handing it over to her. "Couldn't wait until tomorrow; didn't want to make a big deal out of it, you know. It's nothing really..." He says by way of explanation as she gratefully rips off the paper.

When the last of the paper drifts to the floor, she grins as she lifts up her brand new, state-of-the-art camera. It is just the one she has been wanting.

"I know your back-up plan was to be a photographer, and I really hope that's still what you want to do because that's your birthday present, too."

Alex fights off the tears as she grips her brother in a bear-hug. It must have cost him a fortune to buy this, especially since his new back-up plan is to work at the sub station, and the tips are not good.

Jerry made sure, before the wizard competition was even in his children's minds, that they each had a good back-up plan for if they lost their powers as adults. Alex had never put much stock into losing the competition, but it became a necessity when she decided to give up her powers. Worst mistake of her life. With the competition just between the two Russo brothers, it was obvious that Justin would win. So when Max became of age at seventeen, the contest was held and the older brother emerged victorious, becoming the family wizard.

Soon, Alex hears excited voices and snatches of conversation from outside the front door. Phrases such as "You got it?", "You need a hand?", and "Careful not to drop it!" were easily discernible.

Then the door opens and Alex is greeted by the sight of her older brother, Justin, carrying a huge box wrapped in red and green. His face splits into a smile at the sight of his sister and he gingerly sets down the box, before opening his arms, allowing the younger girl to fling herself into them.

Tears stream down her face, and no one questions it, because they know it is he who she has missed most, and he who can give the most comfort. They break apart so Justin can hold her at arm's length. "How are you, Alex?" And it is the most honest question Alex has heard in almost three months. She knows he really cares, really worries about her, really wants to help. And she lets him. She just smiles and nods, knowing he will not judge her for not speaking. He will understand.

"Justin brought something home for you, sweetie! It's from all of us. Better open it sooner rather than later," Theresa beams. Turning her attention to the large box, Alex carefully prods it with her foot. Hearing a rustling from inside, she gasps and tears off the paper, lifting the lid.

Big brown eyes and a wagging tail greet the girl. Justin hurries to lift the golden dog out of its temporary crate so Alex can meet it.

"This is Gracie. She's a three-year-old Golden Retriever." Alex sits cross-legged on the floor, allowing the dog to sniff her hand before stroking her fur. She looks up, as if to say, _Is__she__for__me?_

Jerry grins. "Gracie's a certified therapy dog. We thought it would be easier for you with someone to talk to." The irony of his statement does not go unnoticed, but Alex decides to let it go.

OOOOOOO

**A/N: Thanks again for reading, guys! Stay tuned for chapter 3, the last chapter, in the next couple days.**


	3. Here to Stay

"Can you pass the butter, Alex?" Theresa seems to quite enjoy saying her daughter's name. The girl nods and hands it across the table before returning to her potatoes.

"Dinner is delicious, Mom," Max grins, stuffing Christmas Pie into his mouth.

"Sure is," Jerry agrees.

The atmosphere is light but there is still the elephant in the room. Alex has not spoken a word since she has arrived home.

Harper and Alex feed table scraps to the expectant Gracie when they think no one is looking.

Theresa sighs. "So... how do you like your camera, Alex? Those pictures came out nicely." Alex had spent the day taking pictures of every little thing. She smiles in response.

Silence, except for the scraping of forks.

"Are we still going to wake up early to watch the sunrise?" Max asks.

"Of course! It's a Russo family tradition!" Jerry exclaims proudly.

Silence again.

Theresa speaks. "What did you and Gracie do today?" Alex frowns, not wanting to answer, but not wanting to be rude.

"Mom, I don't think Alex wants to talk," Justin whispers.

Theresa slammed her fork down on the table. "I'm sorry! I can't take it anymore, Alex, please talk to me!" The woman bursts out into tears, surprising everyone.

Jerry quickly apologizes before ushering his wife out of the kitchen and into their bedroom.

The silence prevails. Suddenly though, Gracie barks and with a doggy grin, wags her tail at Alex. Alex smiles and scratches the dog's ears, mentally apologizing for a rough first day in their household.

"She's a good dog," Justin says. And Alex understands. Gracie is for her to talk to without talking, cry on without explanation, and spend time with without any catches or ulterior motives.

Alex excuses herself onto the balcony, taking the golden dog with her. After a moment of huddling in one of the chairs, she moves to the floor to keep warm with Gracie.

The door slides open and Alex knows who is coming out. He sits down next to her without a word. The two watch the sky together and a single star shoots across the sky, getting lost among all the rest. Alex closes her eyes and wishes that she had the confidence to believe what Mason told her.

"She loves you. We all love you. She just missed you so much and now that you're here, she wishes things could go back to normal. But they can never be quite like that, can they?" Justin peers at Alex with a question in his eyes.

She nods. Things will never be like they were, but they can be good again.

The door slides open again, and Theresa emerges, carrying a blanket, which she drapes around her children's shoulders. She sits down, waiting for a sign of her daughter's forgiveness. But before she can say anything, Alex wraps her mother in a bear-hug that speaks everything she needs to say.

One by one, the rest of the Russos come out onto the balcony and stare up at the sky.

As Alex sits, her family's love and her new friend's warmth surrounding her, she feels completely loved.

And as she sits there, a sound flows into the air, that they had all missed, that hadn't been heard in exactly three months. Alex's voice rang out, quiet and weak but so sure of herself: "This is my home. And this time, I'm here to stay."


End file.
